“And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Matthew 6:12, KJV
Growing up in an environment where violence is unwelcome made me a peace-loving person. As much as possible I avoid conflict with anyone. It would never think about harming or cause trouble to anyone. As much as I enjoy discussions, I avoid debates or arguments.
Whenever someone vent on me becasue of unpleasant mood swings or say something judgmental behind my back (it eventually comes in front of me), I just ignore them. I forgive them for the sake of peace and harmony. Or so I thought...
Confronting people is one area I'd rather put inside a box and set aside. That’s probably why some people take advantage of that and think it is OK to disrespect and give me the I'm-better-than-you attitude, because they know I won’t fight back. Even when I’m angry, I would try hard not speak and just keep it inside. I would say to myself, “Just let them be and ignore them. Just forgive them." How forgiving I am. Or so I thought...
But when I’ve read these passages from my devotional book, The Faith I Live By, by EGW, it made me think about how I forgive others. Do I really forgive them or I just ignore them because it is more convenient? Do I really seek peace and harmony or I’m just too weak to speak up?
We are not forgiven because we forgive, but as we forgive. The ground of all forgiveness is found in the unmerited love of God, but by our attitude toward others we show whether we have made that love our own.– Christ’s Object Lessons, 251
I would sometime reason out that those who wronged me should ask for forgiveness first before I forgive them. In some instances, as long as I don’t see them, we’re ok. Until…
We should not think that unless those who have injured us confess the wrong we are justified in withholding from them our forgiveness. It is their part, no doubt, to humble their hearts by repentance and confession; but we are to have a spirit of compassion toward those who have trespassed against us, whether or not they confess their faults.– Thoughts from the Mount of Blessings, 113, 114
Do I really forgive people or just tuck the grievances away somewhere in the nook and cranny of my brain hoping I won't come across it agan. Do I have an, "Out of sight, out of mind" approach to forgiveness?
I want to be forgiven!
As the verse above says, "And forgive us our debts, AS we forgive our debtors." [emphasis supplied]
God can only forgive me as I learn to forgive others. It would then make sense what it takes and what needs to be given up in order to forgive. As I learn to forgive others, I would learn to give up pride, let go of the hurts, grudges, and injustices (at least in my own perception) and let God work on the other person's heart.
Forgiving others is not only for their sake, but for our sake most importantly! It cleanses us from the defiling influence of selfishness and pride.
Just as the father welcomed back with open arms his prodigal son, our Heavenly Father is always waiting for us to come back to Him. No "I told you so!" but pure love, sympathy, acceptance, and forgiveness.
I pray that God would teach us to truly forgive just as He forgives our waywardness unconditionally.
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